Monday, November 28, 2016

Star Wars Revengant

First things first... What the fuck is a Revengant?

So, as some of you no doubt will recall, lately I've been watching a lot of fan films. I honestly don't know why at this point, maybe I feel like I deserve to be punished, maybe I think I need to do atonement for past sins, I don't know. I don't know why I've been subjecting myself to this torture, flagellating myself as I trudge along on this lonely back road of the genre world... but here I am.

Anyway, you can see some of the fan films I've been watching here.

Okay, so, today's fan film is called Star Wars: Revengant... for some reason, and there's a lot of red flags going on here right from the start. First, there's no IMDB page, just a Vimeo page. Second, on the Facebook page, the Writer, Director, and Producer, a man named Marc Ferdinand Korner, lists himself in several different places in the credits, but changes his name around each time... Oh ho! How droll! Thirdly, there's almost no pictures of this film to be found on-line, and of the few that there are, most of them are behind-the-scenes stuff, there's almost none of the actual film. Last, but certainly not least, this film was apparently made in a week's time. Now, this is something I would normally point to as perhaps the biggest red flag of all...

But then I read the synopsis: KYLO REN is on the HUNT for a ancient SITH HOLOCRON that the Resistance gathered on the planet DAHENDOR in the Outer Rim. Will KANE ALTIS be able to rescue himself before the HOLOCRON is found by KYLO REN and his REVENGANT?

Oh great, so  basically this thing is both a fan film AND a Prequel?

At least it isn't totally about Jedi...

This fan film was... It was just a mess. I mean, sure, it was made in a week, but, man... Literally nothing made any sense here, not why any of the characters were where they were, both in relation to each other, or why they were even there in the first place, or why they were even doing what they were doing. The story was practically nonexistent, and most of its telling was left to the crawl. And maybe worst of all, at one point, 90s Hair Guy goes from hiding behind a tree to lose a Drone, to finding his girlfriend being murdered about 10 feet from him, simply by looking to his left. I mean... utilize some space, man. While watching this, I made a joke about the film being confined to someone's mom's backyard, but it might really be the case here.

Also, after reading the synopsis, you'd probably assume the answer to whatever the fuck a Revengant is will be answered in the film. You assumed wrong.

I guess there's really nothing else to say about this film, except to point out that including a third rate Kylo Ren, and that someone involved actually bought Poe's Jacket from somewhere (presumably on-line), somehow made this whole thing even worse,

Woof. This is a low point in my fan film experiment.

I sincerely apologize to anyone I got to watch this,

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