Wednesday, November 30, 2016

FALL OF THE JEDI


Great. More Jedis...

Okay, so here's the deal, I've been watching a bunch of Fan Films lately, because sometimes I make bad decisions, and man, let me tell you, this particular decision has turned out to be a rough one. Y'see, after years of working at several different movie theatres, and a couple of video stores, there's one simple truth I learned a long time ago: Most movies are terrible. There's a lot of good ones too, of course, but the overwhelming majority...? Terrible. And after watching several of these fan films for the last few weeks, I have discovered that they aren't all different of a situation, except for the part about there being lots of good ones...

Don't believe me, take a look here.

Today's short film is called STAR WARS: FALL OF THE JEDI zzzzzzzzzzsnort! Huh, what? Sorry, I fell asleep there for a moment... Anyway, today's fan film has... hmmmm... let's just say, there's a few of the traditional Red Flags, but you know what? Fuck it. Forget it.

Let's just get into it.

Here's the synopsis: Years after the Galactic Civil War, Kylo Ren has killed the new generation of Jedi that his mentor and uncle Luke Skywalker was training. Padawan siblings Carena and Donta managed to escape the massacre, but are soon forced to once again fight against the ever growing temptation of the dark side.

Great... a sidequel...



Holy shit. Those were some uber nerds.

Okay, so here's the thing... this fan film was terrible. Embarrassingly terrible. I mean, the line delivery? The fight choreography? The girl in the evil corset? The way the heroes apparently decide to go for a angst-fueled run immediately after landing? And how they then just kind of run into a pair of bad guys randomly choking some dude to death in a field? I mean, yeah, that was total shit.

But...

This particular train wreck was apparently made by a bunch of 1st Year "Screenology" students, which I guess is a film school in England, so I feel kind of bad ripping on it too much. Also, it answers my question as to whether or not those accents were fake. I was pretty sure that they were, but they were not, supposedly. So, the point is... wowsers, that was bad, but hey, they tried. I think. Either way, I'm not going to rip it up too much. God bless you, you nerdy little bastards.

But seriously though, you know that kid in the white face paint totally wears a trilby and a long scarf thrown back over his shoulder like, all the time. You know he does.

Terrible,
Jon

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