Saturday, June 8, 2013

Filmzilla Reprint: The Top 10 crimes of Eddie Murphy

Filmzilla is gone. The store is closed, the movies have been hauled away and its somewhat neglected blog has been wiped from existence like a victim of Newspeak. I posted some stuff there on occasion. Those posts still exist, proof of what once was. I've decided to reprint them here.

I hope you enjoy...

The Top 10 Crimes of Eddie Murphy
(A reprint)

10. Meet Dave

No. No, I don't think I will...

9. Beverly Hills Cop 3

One of Axel Foley's friends get shot (again), so Axel heads west (again), but this time he doesn't have time for any bananas in any tailpipes and instead, shoots the shit out of the Universal Studios theme park. Thankfully, Brigitte Nielsen is no where to be seen.

8. Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps

Answering that most ancient of riddles: What's funnier than a guy in a fat suit farting? A guy in several different fat suits... all of them farting.

7. Vampire in Brooklyn

In an interview, Eddie Murphy claimed it was the long-haired wig that was responsible for ruining this movie. ...Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, tsk, tsk, tsk...

6. A Thousand Words

Eddie Murphy discovers his voice has the power to kill plant life... and our souls...

5. Norbit

In Japan, this film goes by the title "Mad Fat Wife" and can often be found in the Kaiju section. Also, the set of the wildly-sorta-popular TV series "The Gilmore Girls" was used for the small town setting. Gilmore Girls was canceled soon after.

4. The Adventures of Pluto Nash

It took more than a dozen writers over 15 years to finish this script. True story.

3. Party All the Time

No, really, it's terrible.

See? And yes, I know Rick James is in the video (psst, you can rent the Chapelle Show at Filmzilla.)

2. Every Shrek related sequel and tie-in ever

Thank you, sir, but the world has had quite enough of your aggressively family-friendly and yet riddled with "edgy" pop culture references that adults can also enjoy brand of comedy, Mr. Murphy. We won't be needing that anymore.

1. Picking up a Hooker

Yeah... awkward.

Most of this list is currently available at Filmzilla, except the Hooker. Why, you ask? Why in the name of everything that is holy, why would we do that? Simple. You see, here at Filmzilla, if we know one thing, we know there's no accounting for taste, so as a result, we have a little bit of everything. We don't care if it's terrible, because God knows, you certainly don't seem to and that's A-Okay with us, baby!

Stop on by, rent a movie!
(Well... not anymore...)

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