Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Films I'm looking forward to (2011)

Hi ya' kids!

Alrighty, so I’ve got at least one or two films that I would like to see before I go about finishing up my Best of 2010 list. They’re both likely candidates, so I should see at least one of them, really. In the interim, I thought I’d put up my top 15 movies I’m looking forward to in 2011 list.

Top 15?

Why 15?

Why not?

This is something I did last year, and I was really right with some films and man, I really wrong with some of the others. So, here's this year's Top 15 and yeah, sure, there’s probably some stuff out there that I left off the list that will end up catching my attention, just like last year, and there are probably some films on the list that will end up losing my attention as they get closer and more information about them is revealed, also, just like last year. What can I say, folks, things change, the center does not hold. This is just an initial list, transient at best; these are the things that are currently on my radar, the things I’ll be blabbing about over the course of the coming months.

Let’s begin, shall we?


Coming Films

1. Green Hornet (1/14)
I know, I know… WTF? Why? Well, two reasons: One, it’s directed by Michel Gondry and two, the studios fat cats had a batch of kittens when they saw the finished project, like they flipped out over the fact that Seth Rogan was fat and were apparently expecting something more like Iron Man. So I figure, if a bunch of studio execs hate it, it can’t be all that bad. Plus, it’s Gondry directing… so it’ll be kinda cool at some point, right? Right? Whatever, its January…

2. Drive Angry (2/25)
It’s my belief that once a year, you need a little Nic Cage to brighten your life. You need his thinning mullet flapping in the breeze. You need his Shatner-esque delivery. Hands down, no one chews scenery like our Nic; he’s the new Dennis Hopper for a Post 9/11 world. I don’t even know what that means, I’m just typing, trying to channel a little Nic Cage and that’s the result. See what I mean? C-c-c-crazy! I’m banking on this film, the story of a dead man who escaped from hell in a muscle car to avenge his daughter’s murder, a film that has the Director name-checking both Outlaw Josie Wales and Vanishing Point equally, being that carzy-ass and always needed film for this year.

3. Apollo 18 (3/4)
There are two films this year that claim the Apollo missions were cover-ups for our first contact with an alien species. One is the third installment of Michael Bay’s Transformers, the worst series of films ever made by anyone ever in the history of the planet, the other is this film. It’s another in the found footage type of movie (I know…), this one obviously involves aliens. Best of all, the Producers Timur Bekmambetov (the awesome: Nightwatch) and Harvey Weinstein are out there, pretending that it’s real… I love that people still do that. Who still falls for that anymore? "What? It's all real?" I don't know. Anyway, so as tired out as this genre got in the years following Blair Witch, sometimes these are still good. I liked Paranormal Activity well enough and I really liked The Wicksboro Incident, plus… you know, astronauts, space, the moon landings, I’m in.

4. Battle: Los Angeles (3/11)
I’ve talked about this film before. It looks promising. It’s also the second of three films on this list involving aliens/alien invasion… apparently, that’s the hot topic in H-wood these days… Just a little inside info from me to you…

5. Sucker Punch (3/25)
I’ve mentioned this film before now too. I said it then and I’ll say it now: It’ll either be the coolest thing ever… or the stupidest…

6. Source Code (4/1)
Ok, yes, I know, this film stars Jake Gyllenhaal (Prince of Persia), I know, but it also stars Michelle Monaghan (Kiss, kiss, bang, bang) and Vera Farmiga (Up in the air) AND it’s directed by Duncan Jones, who made the phenomenal Moon starring local favorite Sam Rockwell, so yeah, I’m interested in the guy’s sophomore effort.

7. Super (4/1)
There's no trailer yet, but this is a "funny" superheroes movie, funny as in dark, kind of like Kick-Ass but not as broad. I predict that most people won't like this one. Apparently Rainn Wilson dresses up in his red suit and then hits people with his pipe wrench, mostly evil doers like line cutters and their hell-spawned ilk, that's about all I know, except that James Gunn is pretty good and it’s got other local favorites like Ellen Page and Nathan Fillion in it. I'll see it.

8. Hannah (4/8)
I wasn’t as impressed with Atonement as others were and the whole “assassin tries to escape violent life only to get pulled back in” storyline is a little wobbly interest-wise, but… it does look good, doesn’t it? And if I’m going to be honest, Saoirse Ronan and Joe Wright’s directing were both promising, so I’m interested enough…

9. Thor (5/6)
Shocking, I know. (heh, Thunder God joke…) Besides just for fun and spectacle, I'm not sure what this film will bring to the table. It is definitely Marvel’s gutsiest film. Thor is a weird character, who, like the Hulk, I’ve never been entirely convinced was ever that interesting as a character. Kenneth Branagh, though, Anthony Hopkins… Not to mention Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings... she is so cute and sarcastic, too bad she's home-schooled. Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist was surprisingly enjoyable, right? And the fact the sex scene was a finger-banging… loved that! Of course, none of this has anything to do with Thor, but shit, if you're so interested, a casual perusal of this blog will lead you to a ton of my ramblings on the subject... Jeez, get off your ass, why don't you do something for yourself for a change, huh?

10. Tree of Life (5/27)
Ah, Terrence Malik, you crazy ass son of a bitch. Thin Red Line is one of my favorites ever. The New World… is not… Both are brilliant in their way. The trailer for Tree of Life is indecipherable and gorgeous, everything you’ve previously done, now unfettered and multiplied. Will I go to another one of your beautiful cinematic ramblings? Of course.

11. Captain America (7/22)
There's no trailer yet, but I don’t really need to say anything at this point, right? Come on. Yeah, I’m going. And Joe Johnson… you better not fuck it up, buddy. Also, I’m willing to accept Hydra in the film because there’s a larger picture and whatnot, and it looks cool and all, and who cares, really, but a part of me wishes it was still a bunch of dirty Nazis Cap was gonna be tearing through… I mean, come on, who doesn’t enjoy seeing Nazis get their ass kicked? (Which, incidentally, was one of the primary ways that Nazi spies were uncovered in WWII, they would put a bunch of guys in a room and ask: "Who likes seeing Nazis beat up?" and the one who DIDN’T raise his hand? ...Fucking Nazi bastard.)

12. Cowboys and Aliens (7/29)
And here’s alien movie numero tres. Can you guess what it’s about without watching the linked trailer? Huh…? Oh, you’re so smart. Anyway, Jon Favreau won me over with the Iron Man films. He’s got a good, fun eye. Also, my second favorite Bond is in the film, as is my personal hero, a man I’ve modeled my life on (except for marrying Calista Flockheart… gross): Harrison Ford. All that, plus Cowboys? And Aliens? Ok, sure.

13. Immortals (11/11)
There's no trailer yet, but did you see The Fall? Amazing looking, kind of a failure, yes, but amazing looking. Well, this is directed by the same guy and is, basically, the story of Theseus, who fought the Minotaur in Greek Mythology. So, I’m in. Even though the description says he “battles against imprisoned Titans”, I’m still in. Even though Clash of the Titans was poop on a stick, I’m still in. I love those Greek myths and The Fall was amazing looking.

14. Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol (12/16)
The fourth Mission Impossible movie? With Tom Cruise? Written by JJ Abrams? On my “looking forward to” list? Without even seeing a trailer? You’re shocked? Not as much as me. Simple and succinct, there's three reasons: Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, and most of all, it’s directed by Brad Bird. Now, it’s true JJ Abrams and I have a long history of liking the same things for very different reasons and being as such, I’ve never really liked most of his stuff, BUT… the last Mission Impossible did not suck and his Star Trek was pretty awesome and with Brad Bird in charge? I’m totally willing to overlook that crazy fucking midget asshole Tom Cruise.

15. Sherlock Holmes 2 (12/16)
There's no trailer yet for this one either, but I liked the first one, I know some folks did not, but I did. I also like Robert Downey Jr. (Johnny Be Good), and Jude Law, despite the fact that he was in A.I., which is the single worst movie ever made of all time by a human being. I enjoyed the look of Sherlock Holmes and the world and they way they portrayed inside Holmes’s head, and the movie itself, of course, so yeah, I’m there.

Und das ist alles fur heute, dig?

That’s the rough list there, my friends, just some upcoming projects I’ll be on the lookout for. What about you? Anything I missed? Let me know.

But wait, there's more!

For a little added benefit, I’m including a bonus second list. WOOOO! You lucky ducks! God, this is just like that episode of Oprah where she was giving away cars... Anyway, the first list was some of the films I'll be looking forward to, but the bonus list…?

The No Thank Yous
(FYI, this is my other new band’s name. I envision it as a side project, for the down times, you know, for when Meryl, Daryl, and T-Dog aren’t demanding the whole of my attention and I just want to stretch a bit, creatively…)


1. Adjustment Bureau
I know it’s based off a Phillip K. Dick story, and it’s got plenty of possibly good stuff and people involved, but the trailer leaves me cold and uninterested. It’s this year’s Shutter Island for me.

2. Green Lantern
God damn… that trailer looks like shit, right? It is so totally boring. After seeing that, despite the fact that it looks like it’s hitting all the required Green Lantern touchstones, I think this film has got great big fail written all over it. Don't get me wrong, I'd like it to be good, but that trailer makes it look like a throw-back to the 90s. It reminds me too much of Hellboy or League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and those were awful, awful films, people. Awful. I call the general aesthetic: Dark Chrome. And much like bad lighting, it is the first hint that the movie you're about to see is fucking terrible.

3. Your Highness
Meh… I mean, funny swearing AND Natalie Portman in a thong and yet… meh. And this is coming from a guy whose entire blog could be said to be based off of funny swearing and pictures of Natalie Portman in a thong. Plus, I’m gonna say it… Danny McBride is starting to wear a little thin for me.

4. Tintin
Apparently the whole world loves Tintin. Apparently the whole thinks he’s Indiana Jones meets Sherlock Holmes meets, I don’t know, Woodward and Bernstein or something… all drawn like Archie and… I don’t get it. I don’t. Add that to the fact that this is the latest Spielberg passion project, not to mention the fact that the whole world also loves Soccer too... and this film pretty much appears to have absolutely nothing for me, man.

5. Super 8
JJ Abrams planning on aping Spielberg. Trouble. Abrams last secret project? Cloverfield, the lamest “giant monster attacking a city” film ever made. How do you make a lame giant monster movie? All I can say is: Prepare to be underwhelmed.

6. Paul
I love Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, but… I just don't get... just watch the trailer, you’ll understand.

7. Priest
Did you not see Legion? Or Daybreakers? Sylvester Stallone's Judge Dread? This is like all of this smushed together, but... you know.. stupider...

8. X-men: First Class
Matthew Vaughn directed Kick-ass and, apparently they’re doing this film (an untold origin of the X-men/Magneto and Xavier as young men story) in all 60’s Mod style. These things intrigue me, but… and perhaps I've been burned by the X-men film-world one too many times now, but my spider sense is tingling, folks. I’ve been wrong before, sure, but something about this film just reeks of fail.

9. Pirates of the Caribbean 4: To Beat a Dead Horse
On one hand, apparently Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom's characters will not be in the film, which is good. On the other hand, this is a Pirates of the Caribbean film, which is bad.

10. Transformers 3: Dear God, why hast thou forsaken us?
Shyeah… no.

So that's it, folks, things to watch for and avoid in the year 2011. Check back in, oh... later this week or early next if you're interested in my Best films of 2011 list!

Good luck out there, you bastards!

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