Friday, December 3, 2010

What the fuck is with The Littles?

Ok, so you long time readers out there, you'll probably recall how I decided to try to increase my hit-count about a year or so ago, so I posted a now somewhat infamous post entitled: "Beautiful boobs braless and bouncing and bigger than your head". It was an experiment and let me tell you... it fucking worked. It is the call of the titty, my friends, I sounded its barbaric yawp across the rooftops of the world and pervos from all over the globe came a'runnin'.

And then they quickly left somewhat disappointed.

But whatever, like I said, it was funny to watch the keyword search tracker switch over from things like: "Billy Joel Vienna", "Natalie Portman's butt" or "Nathan Fillion" to such mind-boggling on and on ad infinitum gems like: "bouncing braless", "boobs bigger than your head", "braless nipples bouncing", "braless bouncing", "bra-less bouncey", "braless bouncy boobies", all the way up to the recent big winner piece of awesome: "fuc wife". Yeah, it was funny then, an experiment run wild and grown beyond my control, but now it's just a fact of life and what did we learn from the facts of life, kids? You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. Basically what I'm saying is that at this point, I don't even notice anymore.

Oh, some dude from Fort Meyer, Kentucky was looking for beautiful braless boobs? Sorry, soldier... And there's a guy from Tempe, Arizona looking for some beautiful boobies... that makes sense, Arizona sucks... it's hot there... Wow, here's someone from Islamabad, Pakistan who wants nothing more than some beautiful boobs braless and bouncing... sorry, Charlie. Hey, and here's some guy from Cork, Ireland who wanted to see Scarlet Johansson in fishnet knee socks? I get that, my man, I get that, truly, she is an international language of brotherhood all her own...

Tá fáilte romhat, brotha.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that it's par for the course now, just part of the white noise in the background of my site. In a word or two: It's common. I'm used to it. In fact, as I'm writing this very blog, right now, some guy from Mukwonago, Wisconsin just buzzed my site, "Boobies? Hello? Hello? There some boobies here? I was told... No? Alright then, bye." It's regular, cats and kittens, it's like clockwork.

But then... then in the last few days, there's been an upset from out of nowhere, a disturbance in the force as if thousands (or dozens) of voices called out a new name and then fell silent... It's pure craziness, folks, but in the past week, I've had over a dozen separate searches, from Louisiana to the Netherlands, from deep in the heart of Texas, on out to the golden sands of sunny California, and all the way across the face of the spinning planet to Kuala Lumpur...

The Littles.

I'll say that again: The Littles. And all because I posted a link to a tiny ass picture buried in an unrelated post here. I mean, there's always been a few every now and then, head scratchers, you know, but a dozen? In the last week? From all over the World? For this?

Hey you! Yeah, you, the dude from the Netherlands... What the fuck, man? Seriously. Help a brother out, because boobies? I get it, man, I get it, but the Littles? And why so many of you so suddenly? What the fuck, man?

What the fuck?

No comments: