Monday, July 6, 2009


I know I joke about this, sometimes at great length, but upon checking my stat-counter, I have discovered that apparently, if there was to be a single phrase choosen to describe my blog, one single phrase that brings me the most traffic, one single phrase that all my endevors here could be boiled down to, it would be "braless bouncing."

Crazy ass Tyra Banks lets the twins swing free.

This stuns me. "Braless bouncing?" I mean, I can see someone sitting down on a lonely Thursday evening, after some Must-see TV, and typing into their friendly Google Image port: "titties" or "peek-a-boo nude" or "embarrassed naked girls running," but "braless bouncing?"

I don't get it, but apparently, I'm just about the only one, because good ol' Nathan Fillion? He's straight up gone from the list. Or perhaps some of you out there remember the former Google King: Billy Joel Vienna? If so, then you are the cheese that stands alone, my friend, because no one else does, as he doesn't even register anymore. Well, what about Natalie Portman's Butt, you ask? ...Well, what about Natalie Portman's Butt, because it barely even cracks the top ten.

(heh, heh... crack...)

Even crazier, is that this is apparently an international language, one that speaks to people of all nations, of all creeds, and of all colors, it is truly a unifier, because people from literally all around the world are being brought to this site by this one phrase.

Seriously. Here's a small sample...

Decatur, Mississppi? Braless bouncing.

Douglas, Georgia? Braless bouncing.

Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada? Braless bouncing.

Montreal, Quebec, Canada? Braless bouncing.

Wazirabad, Punjab, Pakistan? Braless bouncing.

Lechlade, Gloucestershire, United Kingdom? Braless bouncing.

Verviers, Liege, Belgium? Bouncing braless (oh, an individualist.)

Bowie, Maryland? Natalie Portman braless bouncing. (Thats awfully specific...)

Leipzig, Sachsen, Germany? Beautiful boobs comic. (I've never even heard of this title, but it certainly sounds interesting.)

Rohtak, Haryana, India? (what?)

Haifa, Hefa, Israel? Boobs that are bigger than your head. (Shouldn't be hard for a pinhead...)

Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia? I love you George boobs. (Who the hell is George Boobs?)

Nieb├╝ll, Schleswig-holstein, Germany? Michel.huerta? (I guess she's kind of a boob... BURN!)

Just try to imagine it, if you can, that most likely right now, at this very moment, while you are reading this, there is probably someone, somewhere out there, desperately searching the internet for content related to, or at the very least concerning, unfettered boobs... and they come here...

Braless bouncing...

I don't get it, people, I just don't get it.

Also, another "This is mine" milestone was just reached... as I am currently blogging from somewhere other than the Day Prison, from which I am currently on a day's paid furlough. However, I happen to be blogging from a coffeeshop in anticipation of my writer's group, and... well... I feel like I've crossed a line... a gross, douchebaggy line... so I won't be doing this again. I feel like I need a shower...

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