Tuesday, May 19, 2009


So, the both of you out there who read this blog regularly have probably already heard this, but for the benefit of the half dozen or so guys a day, from all over the world, who erroneously land here while searching for big, bouncing, braless boobs…

Dollhouse has been renewed for a second season.

Now, admittedly, I am more than a little surprised by this.

Honestly, I was shocked that they let the show go for the whole season.

Frankly, I am still not entirely convinced that FOX isn’t setting up some kind of elaborate trap for all of us, hoping to lull us into believing that they are not, in fact, the horrible ass-hats that we all well and truly know them to be, just so that they can extra destroy Dollhouse and, most likely, when we least expect it, too. (Personally, I think its revenge. I think they’re still mad at Joss Whedon for creating Firefly and then letting people like it.)

Anyway, I’m aware. I’m not falling for any of their tricks, get me? I know what FOX does, no matter how much they try to hide it. As if they don’t go around and green-light every single crazy, weird, interesting, exciting and new genre project available out there, then cut their budgets down to an anemic nothing, interfere with the production every step of the way and finally sentence the pale shadow of the original intention that manages to stagger free to some horrible and quickly forgotten Friday night timeslot… History does not lie, man, nor does the tattered and pathetic trail of TV show carcasses that they have left dead and bleeding in their wake.

I’m on to you, FOX, you dirty fuckers.

But why? Why does FOX do this? Well, the obvious answer is that someone at FOX, possibly all of them, (the jerks) hate genre shows with a passion. They hate them with the fiery intensity of a thousand burning suns. They hate them so much that they probably all have meetings where they sit around their giant mahogany meeting tables, smoking their cigars and drinking their scotch while resting their feet on the backs of poor people and going: “Ooooh…. Fucking space ships… I just… I just fucking hate ‘em! Soooo much!” all said with grit teeth and their fists clenched and shaking. They hate them so much, apparently, that it is not enough to simply NOT air any genre shows, instead, they must actively search them out, capturing them while still in their delicate and vulnerable pupae form, and then viciously destroying them and even salting the very fertile imaginations where these nascent shows were meant to grow and all in order to ensure that nothing, NOTHING, can ever be salvaged from their ruin ever again. Don’t believe me? There are precedents! Go look!

And yet…

Dollhouse gets a second season.

(Sidebar: I just came across a guy, on one of my lists, and his name was Bambata. Bambata! ….Bambata! Bambata! …You know… like in Conan the Destroyer? Wilt the Stilt? …Ah…forget it…)

Anyway… while I AM ridiculously surprised by this turn of events, you know what I have found that I actually am NOT?


Not that I don’t like Dollhouse, I do, but really… What is Dollhouse about? Seriously now, what is it about? I know I’ve bitched about it in other blogs, about the synopsis and the lack of story arcs, but now, in the wake of the first season, the question looms all the more largely… What is Dollhouse about?


Who’s the bad guy? Sure, Alpha is still out there, but he’s not your main bad guy, he can’t be. Alpha is just your Joker, your Bullseye, he’s like a shark, the villain who just wants to fuck you up and that’s it and pretty much only because: just because. He’s reliable and ready that way. But he doesn’t do anything else. He doesn’t commit other crimes. He doesn’t really want to rule the world, he’s just dangerous and that’s cool and all… you can do some really fun stuff with that, but… Who’s the Lex Luthor? Who’s the Doctor Doom? Who’s the Magneto? Shit, who’s the Batroc the Leaper?

And while these villains may be needed for the general sake of a sci-fi action show, an even better question is… why exactly would these villains even exist within the story’s world in the first place, standing against what is basically nothing but a really, really fancy escort service? It’d be like some guy in a shiny unitard regularly attacking a titty bar… “Surrender to me, Jumbo’s Clown Room! Kneel before Doctor Stiffy!”

Plus, now that Agent Ballard has actually joined the Dollhouse, due to a somewhat murky motivation that I believe owes more to renewal negotiations and FOX’s desire for a slimmed down cast then the natural demands of the story, (see? Interfering. It’s what they do.) where will the outside pressure of exposure come from? The entire rest of the world believes the Dollhouse to be nothing but an urban legend, so why would any one else even care enough to bother to go hunting for the place? What about the NSA surveillance, you ask? Oooooh… the NSA …big deal.

Also… most importantly… What is Dollhouse about? Come on, I mean, really, what’s the main storyline? What’s the push? What’s the intent? What’s the goddamn elevator pitch? And… its not that I don’t like Dollhouse, I do, I watched it every Friday and downloaded from Itunes the ones that I missed, but really… at this point – first season in the can – can anyone out there tell me what the show is about? I mean, sure, you can probably assume that the Shadowy Corporation that finances the Dollhouse(s) is involved somehow, that they are probably behind everything, (shocker! excuse me while I “duh.”) but “everything” what? What are they doing that is so bad? Yes, the dolls are “slaves” but really, at least as far as we've been told and shown so far, they all volunteered, so what are they being subjected to that they need to be saved from? A shitty job? What? Really? Then where's my rescue? Because let me tell you… mine is shittier…

So, does anyone know? Can anyone guess?

Rumors? Thoughts? Spoilers or Speculation?


What is Dollhouse about?

I guess, in the end, maybe it doesn’t matter. After all, Buffy hit its stride second season, Angel a little later on, so I’m going to stick around and see regardless. Its just that, if all this show turns out to be is just different assignments and some occasional fetish gear that slowly builds up to Alpha showing up again, then… meh… right?


zoey said...

Kneel before Doctor Stiffy!

Shawn Enderlin said...

totally. meh.

if i hadn't been so frakking busy with work i would have beat you to the punch and said the same thing!

PS. if - someday - someone makes a movie out of your blog, can i be the guy in the shiny unitard who attacks titty bars?

Jon said...

No more matter how tempted you may be by the all-you-can-eat Wings Buffet at the Clown Room... don't do it.

Anonymous said...

I gotta agree about Dollhouse. I watched it, I liked it alright, but I am not sold on the framework of the show. I find the whole Ballard/Caroline devotion thing pretty contrived and flat. I think the idea of an ambigious and hard to define antagonist is interesting, but the show doesn't do enough to make that compelling. Also, I find that Whedon's strengths lie in characterization and developing relationships. When half the cast are different characters every week, that hurts the show. Since that idea is a huge part of the show, I question its longterm appeal for me. Still, I really like Boyd and look forward to seeing that guy next season. If Fox allows it.

Jon said...

Yeah, its got a lot of curb appeal, I just want to see what's going on inside. What's the point? Although I read that the unaired 13th episode that will be on the DVD box set is apparently a Post-apocalyptic set Doolhouse and that... hmmm... interested...